........

So these days, I feel mostly like a referee.

My kids fight. And they fight about EVERYTHING. Where who sits at the dinner table, who gets in the tub first, who gets what cup, who turns on or off the TV... everything!

And it's starting to wear me thin. At the end of the day, I am so tired of breaking up fight after fight that I am just ready to cry, get a cup of apple juice, suck my thumb, and go to sleep. It's starting to exhaust my mind! I haven't been in such a constant bad mood until this week. It started earlier this week with the constant bickering, and it doesn't seem like it's going to end anytime soon.

I mean, I get it ; they are siblings, and they are pretty close in age and this was bound to happen. But holy, tap dancing jesus...I don't think I can take anymore!

I feel like I'm losing control over this situation. My mood has been very on edge lately...because if they aren't fighting, they are whining. Riley doesn't seem to talk anymore, she whines. And I would much rather her sit and cry real tears than to sit there and whine about stuff. She refuses to walk places by herself, she refuses to progress in the potty training area. I feel very defeated. I know that potty training is just as rough for her as it is for me, but she's fighting me every step of the way to the point I just almost give up. She gets the concept of it, but she doesn't want to follow through. And I just want to wave the white flag. This child will never be out of diapers it feels like!

And Caden...where to even start with that boy. He's such a loving, sweet boy...but lately, he's been very moody, very defiant, and very crabby. Not like himself. I know he isn't sick from anything because he just finished a course of antibiotics for an ear ache he had a little while ago, and he isn't running any type of fevers... He's just..being a typical boy. Very wild child. He's a lot like I probably was when I was little. He can't go with the flow. He likes everything to be the same all the time...he cannot handle changes. Even this week, normally the kids go for pizza night on Wednesdays over at my mom's house. They had to reschedule it for today (Thursday) and it threw Caden's little schedule completely off. He knew it was Wednesday yesterday because he had circle time that day in school, and Mrs. Press told him that it was Wednesday, and he couldn't understand why he wasn't going to Mom Mom's house. Oh the meltdown that came along with that...

But ; today was actually a really good day. Dan wanted to go ride FDR for a little while, and very last minute, invited me and Riley to go. It gave us time to get out of the house, and go do something besides stare at the walls. It was really great. Riley really enjoyed watching him for a little while, and would yell "GO DAN!!" and would watch him zoom by...but the weather was so chilly that after about a half hour, we retreated to the car for some juice and cookies. And she and I just sat there and got to spend really good mommy daughter time together. She was singing me songs, and pretending to drive my car. It was nice. It was nice to just enjoy time together, without any distractions and be able to just have a few quiet minutes together. I wish Caden didn't have to go to school, because it would have been neat for him to come, too. But he's already missed a few days already, and I couldn't find a justifiable reason to keep him home for a few hours at the park. I feel just a tad bit guilty about that because I know he would have loved to go.

I think those few hours out were exactly what all of us needed. It was so nice to just go for a car ride (although I am the worst passenger in a car...) and getting a little fresh air. I know that I can't stand to feel cooped up, and I know that Dan can't stand it, either. When the weather is nice, we aren't ever home. But now that winter is here, it really puts a restriction on the things we like doing. I like going to the car shows, and the beach, and even watching him ride...and all of those things we have to do when it's nice. There's not too much going on when the weather is chilly. I'm glad that Riley seemed to enjoy herself, too! I know probably half of her cranky mood was sitting around here too much. I just hope Caden had a good day in school, and is totally excited to go to my mom's tonight for his pizza!!

-Brandi