Wednesday, August 28, 2013

my wife swap manual as a guide to the running of my home. :D

You know when you're watching wife swap, and the new wives show up and read that cute little book all about how the household runs? I've always wondered what those questions were. So, I looked them up! And I figured I would go ahead and do mine, just to see if I could figure out what kind of wife they would send here...what kind of wife would be my complete polar opposite.
Pretty sure they would send Dan a super feminist wife who doesnt believe in gender roles, and wont help him do anything, lol.


What tips can you give for coping with your other half?
-BE VERY PATIENT. He is not the easiest person to love, or understand. He is VERY stuck in his ways. DO NOT take anything he says personally. He is a nice guy, but he will rely heavily on you. Make this easier on yourself, and write it down. If you don't, text him what he would like done for the day, and look at it. You'll get into his routine. Have dinner cooked when he's hungry. Make sure he always has work clothes. Don't let the laundry pile up, or leave clothes in common areas (he hates that). 

How do you like to be treated?

-I do not expect anything. I like to be treated with respect, and dignity. But if I dont get it, thats not my problem, that's somebody else's. I know who I am. Somebody's opinion, or treatment of me, doesnt affect who I am, and how I should treat others.

What happens when you and your partner disagree on something?

-World war III until it settles down.

What subject do you and your partner disagree on the most?

-Religion. I'm an open atheist, he is a closet christian. He doesn't agree with my views, and I don't agree with his. We just keep it under wraps. We don't EVER talk about it.


Please sum up the philosophy of this house and life within it:

-We are car enthusiasts! Our whole life revolves around cars, talking about cars, fixing cars, making cars fast, and racing! Hope you know the difference between a turbo, a supercharger, and a nitrous kit. You'll be quizzed daily. Or you'll have nothing to offer the conversation! My life revolves around slicks, weekends at the track, saturday night street races for fun, and of course, accepting ebay packages full of go fast parts. :) Hope you like the color blue, and can handle sitting around for hours while Dan lets multiple people look under the hood of the truck! 
-Dan also rides BMX. I really hope you don't mind getting filthy ; because the trails are very dirty, and full of insects! 

-This home models after the 1950's marriage. I am the house wife, my husband is the man. I go on his command. I am the one in charge of anything domestic. I am expected to upkeep my appearance, to ensure my home runs smoothly, and that my husband has everything he needs. In return, my husband is my man. He does all the dirty jobs. He makes the money. He takes care of me. We are very traditional in marriage roles. He will not do anything a woman should do, and I am not expected to do anything a man might do.


How often do you clean your home?
-My home gets a regular tidy up clean every single day. I deep clean (hard floors, toilets, sinks, dusting) once a week.

Who does the cleaning in general? Is this done voluntarily, or only when asked?
- I do ALL of my the cleaning. It isn't done quite voluntarily, but because I KNOW it needs to be done. My kids are responsible for their own room. I'm in charge of EVERYTHING else.


What room(s) do you eat your meals in?
- Since I currently only have a table which seats two, my children sit at the table at meals, while me and my husband sit on the couch. 

When are meal times?
-Breakfast for the kids is 8:30am. Lunch is around 1pm. Kids eat dinner around 6, my husband and I eat dinner between 8pm-930pm.

Who prepares breakfast / lunch / dinner and when?
-I prepare ALL the meals. My husband normally makes his own bowl of cereal when he gets up for work in the morning.

Does your partner help?
-Not at all. 

What are your top three dinners? 
-Fried porkchops
-any kind of chicken i feel like making that particular night.

Do you have any special dietary requirements? Is there anything you won't eat?

How often do you get take-out or delivery? 
-once a week, on average.

How often do you eat-out at restaurants? Where do you go? Do you take the kids?
-Weekends. Depends. Normally places around town.


How often do you go grocery shopping? When do you go?
I HAVE to grocery shop at least once a week. 

Does your partner help?
No. I don't think he knows where the grocery store is.


Who shops for clothes?
-I shop for the children, and myself. My husband buys for himself. Or gets freebies from random BMX companies.

How much do you spend on clothes per month for each family member?
-I seriously don't even know. lol.



What time do you usually get up?

What is your morning routine (weekdays?)
-Wake up around 8am with the kids. Breakfast around 830. 
-on school days, wake up around 730, get Caden up, breakfast, book bag packed, pack lunch. Drop Caden off to school.

Do you ever get to sleep in?
-Most days. But most of the time, my husband wakes me up when he gets up, just so I'm not sleeping. 


How do they get home?
-I pick up Caden from school everyday.

Do the kids have any extra classes / activities after school? If so, when and what?

After school, if they don't have activities, do they have play dates? How often? At your home or their friends home?
-No activities. No established play dates. They see their step siblings in our home once a week. 


What time do you get home from work?

-I am a stay at home full time mother and wife. 

Do you help the kids with their homework?

-Yes. Caden is still small, and i will explain to him his homework assignments. He normally can handle it on his own, but I stay close by incase he has a question. Then we go over it together.

When do they do their homework?

-Immediately after school. When he is done, he gets a snack.

Approximately how much homework does each kid get?

-Caden normally has two worksheets a night.

Do the kids have set bedtimes and if you have teens, do they have curfews?

-Kids are in bed at 8pm nightly. They are allowed to have quiet talk to each other as they settle down. I cant put them down any later, or they're too wound up for sleeping. They need that extra quiet time in bed before falling asleep.

How you spend you evenings from Monday to Friday?

-Monday-Thursday nights are a typical dinner, bedtime snacks, relaxing during the evening. My husband goes out and does his own thing once in a while throughout the week, so I am home some nights by myself. Friday nights the children normally go to my parent's house for their weekly sleepovers.

What time do you go to bed?

-Whenever Dan is tired. Normally between 10-11:30pm.


What do you generally do on Friday night?

-Dan and I live a very social life outside of the children. Friday nights, he comes home, we get ourselves together, and head out for a night with friends. Normally out to dinner, and spending time with our friends.

What do you do at the weekend?

Saturday Mornings? 

-Nothing. Sleep in. :) 

Saturday daytime?

-Trails, out for lunch, hanging out.

Saturday evening?

-Street racing. (You'll have alot of fun being a one woman pit crew. Hope you can carry a pair of slicks down the stairs, and back up them. You're in charge of reading the gauges, too. Make sure you know what they mean. Ask lots of questions. Your back will only hurt for a little while. You also need to remind Dan to remember all the "free" mods. He'll know what you mean. You're welcome.)

Sunday Mornings?
-Kids normally return home on sunday mornings. So back into the swing of mommyhood. 

Sunday daytime?

-Whatever the kids want to do.

Sunday evening?

-Dinner, baths, snacks, bedtime.


When you go out, do you tend to go out as a couple, or individually?

-Dan normally ever wants to do anything with me as just a couple. Our time is normally shared with friends. I'd really love it if once in a while we did something just the TWO of us, but he's just not like that.

What kinds of things do you like doing when you go out as a family / as a couple / as individuals?

-We don't normally  have alot of "family" time. Dan is hardly ever here. Thursday nights, my stepchildren come visit, and we have all four of the kids together. When they visit, we normally enjoy our entire night in. The kids all love being around each other. They have such a great bond.


Who does the childcare? What does it involve?

-I do all of the child rearing. The bathing, feeding, cleaning up, laundry, shopping, school events, name it. Its all on me. 

Do you have a routine with bedtimes etc for the children? 

-Riley is allowed a sippy cup at bedtime. I realize its getting a little extensive how much she relies on it, but cutting it cold turkey gave her anxiety. I just lay them in their beds (they share a room) at 8pm, hugs and kisses, and they are allowed to talk for an hour tops, and have quiet time as they settle down.

How do you discipline the kids?

-They get a warning. Afterwards, they are put in the corner (a minute per year) Caden sits for six minutes, Riley sits for four. I do not do physical punishment. It's cruel.

Do you spend time without the children?

-I get a break normally every weekend when they go to my parents house. It saves my sanity!

What things do you and your partner disagree on with regard to childcare? 

-I came as an already established family. I came with two children in my care fulltime into my marriage with Dan. I've been hellbent on keeping discipline and structure the way it was before he came into our lives. He doesn't always agree with me, but I don't feel like it needs to change. My were already comfortable with my parenting style, before Dan.

When do you see your family / in-laws?

-I see my family almost every other day. I see my in-laws once in a while. 

Do you visit them? Do they come and visit / stay with you? How often?

-I visit my mom almost everyday, if not, every other. They do not stay with me. My mom barely visits here. 

Do your relatives help look after your kids?

10) WORK

What hours do you work in the office / at home?

-I'm a stay at home mother...I work 24/7!

Do you bring work home in the evenings?

-In my line of work, yes. lol.


Who controls the money?

-We both kind of do. He gives me whatever money needs to be deposited, and I am responsible ensuring all the household bills are paid on time. 

How much do you spend on groceries per week?

-on average, about $100

How much do you spend on yourself?

-6.82 per day. (cigarettes.)

How much pocket money do the children receive per week? Are there conditions?

-They do not receive money, or allowances. 

1 comment:

  1. Hi I'm Heather! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog! Heather.vonstjames(at) Thanks!!